Another Personal Narrative - White

Does the writer provide an introduction that grabs the reader’s attention?

Too long to start with at least some points of story he begin to exploring and fishing in the summer. Fishing captures my attention because it's something that I like to do and go to the lake in the summer.

Does the writer focus on significant events in his or her life rather than trying to narrate his or her entire life’s story?

White has his memories when he was there before. Few main points which he was describing about his life story.

Do the descriptions of the characters or important objects in the memoirs include sensory details that help readers to visualize, hear, smell or feel them?

Wooden surrounding the lake which he remember the fresh smell of lumbar and the beauty of the lake. Lake area was very deep that White described them to bring reader into understanding and feels what's it's like to be at the lake.

Has the writer quoted speech or dialogue so as to reveal some important aspect of a character’s personality?

It was basically about his memories when he was there before. There were none of speech but his furious experiences at the lake.

Does the writer narrate or describe events in a way that allows readers to connect them to experiences or relationships in their own lives?

Yes, to those who had experience going to the lake, fishing, camping, hiking, or hunting. These are the wood and you got to survive in it every night. There's animals out roaming freely and the surrounding feels peaceful. I remember my childhood, so would my future kids wanting to know what I had did or done or been to. So did White bringing his kid to his spot where he had been.

Has the writer explained the significance of the people, events, places, or objects in shaping who he or she has become? Does this explanation make sense in relation to the events, people, places, and things described throughout the memoir?

In somewhat, at least he explain what the lake experience was alike in the past to now. It was old lake  and new to his son what it was. The events of the story was in order on how he described it.

Does the writer provide a conclusion that reinforces the point of the story?

Yes the memories, experiences, and adventure of the trip to the lake brings good time for the father and his son to have fun thrilled trip.

Diving into Personal Narratives - Sedaris

Does the writer provide an introduction that grabs the reader’s attention?

Not really what David Sedaris is trying to point the story out. His introduction was bit of humor but to the exactly in the first paragraph, was that the story of the narrative for the whole story? At least he rebounded to understanding his of moving to France where he would have to adapted to their culture and their languages.
Does the writer focus on significant events in his or her life rather than trying to narrate his or her entire life’s story?

He narrated his experiences being at school where people speaks French language and trying to understand those language. All the time he was in the French class room in Paris, France.
Do the descriptions of the characters or important objects in the memoirs include sensory details that help readers to visualize, hear, smell or feel them?

It captures the story by visualizing how he went through all the French languages which he was feeling little bit nervous about speaking and understanding language in France. The teacher is pretty much strict on pronounce those words and pretty much can feel abusing student on understanding and speak right. Not easy to learn new language in a day, students comes in to take and graduating the class. They got to start rusty into well education people. It also can be part of hearing from over the time and from abusing, it will gradually learning over time on how they speak the sound are different than the English language.
Has the writer quoted speech or dialogue so as to reveal some important aspect of a character’s personality?

Characters speech was their personality as they were revealed what the teacher wanted for them to speak of like or dislike for the classroom.
Does the writer narrate or describe events in a way that allows readers to connect them to experiences or relationships in their own lives?

Kind of, it depends on readers life if they had been going through similar with Sedaris'. Some of us had cruel teachers or those who we don’t like but have to accept the fact they have to go through it. These can be experiences of learning languages, educations of compare and contrasts, or any events relating to this story.
Has the writer explained the significance of the people, events, places, or objects in shaping who he or she has become? Does this explanation make sense in relation to the events, people, places, and things described throughout the memoir?

As class goes on, he begins to understand more and more and what it was like in the past comparing to now nearly to full understanding language in France. He went through the hard time to learn better and live life as normal French citizen. Like "no pain, no gain", he deserve it only if he study hard that teacher has made him to do. 

Does the writer provide a conclusion that reinforces the point of the story?

The conclusion was to understanding French language made Sedaris better person from his teacher on welcoming to Paris and live like true French people. Otherwise, not willing to learn, best off stay in America.

Sentence Variety

Sam hop in her car and drove off to the mall. She bought a pair of boots and a shoeshine kit at the shoe store. At the food court, she purchased stuffed with onions and peppers burrito. The boy at pretzel stand got in her eye thinking he is cute and is blushed when he walks toward Sam. Crazy moment of acquaintances made Sam emotional breakdown and cry of his reactions of her bad breath. Ends up running to bathroom putting on her new shined boots. Restored and confidence in herself made her to come out and show the boy some manners. She kicked the boy down to the ground with the new boots and left the scene.

Mechanics

My weakness is express coordinate ideas in similar form. I felt like that sometime important words should be describe in the sentence that would sound right. Eventually, I can't tell because it is similar form in writing. Whether it should be added or rotate words to make it corretion.
My strongest  are either use the active voice or put statements in positive form. In active voice is what I experienced and describe how I feel. Put statements in positive form by using properly terms in the sentence. Even I would be typing word to word and forgetting that it can be combined in to one word. If I don't know the specific or forgot the certain word to explain, then I would be putting down word to word which means that way as well too.
How for myself to improve in writing, is having help with grammar and common mistakes with past and present tense. Keep on practicing would makes a better writer by having feedback and knowing all the english writing rules to try sound it in right way as you says it.